The envelopes dressed up to look like they're from the IRS, bill collectors, your mortgage company, the State or the County. Things telling you that your attention is needed IMMEDIATELY! or that You've Won!
Envelopes excitedly shouting at you as if you'd won a pearl of great value... but for a limited time only.
|We've seen this kind of junk for years, and it's pretty easy to spot. That "presorted" postmark is a dead give away.|
|This has to be better than any Golden Ticket mumbo jumbo that Wonka was talking about.|
...it has to be awesome...
Perhaps it's tickets to the Pantages with back stage passes, or maybe an engraved invitation to some much anticipated Grand Opening that has slipped my mind, or maybe even a copy of a will naming me sole beneficiary from a rich family member I'd never heard of. The possibilities are endless!!!
Well, I'd better open it up and find out what it is.
Oh, it has something to do with Discover Card, but I haven't had a Discover Card in years... Still it is a rather nice envelope, made of some kind of plastic-ish feeling material... I wonder if they are sending me a check for some kind of over payment or rewards bonus I never collected? Let's open it and find out.
Oh, it's just another gimmick in the Junk Mail war that's been waged on consumers for decades. They want me back... boo hoo! They're almost as bad as Direct TV is when you break up with them.
Direct TV was sending us desperate sounding, love letter style missives twice a month after we cancelled them; now it's only quarterly. Sorry Discover Card, but haven't needed you since Costco went with AmEx.
Gotta give them a tip of my hat, they got me to open it... which is more than I can say about 99% of the rest of the others' attempts with junk mail. Now, however, much like how getting a flu shot helps the body know how to fight off the full effects of the flu, this experience has inoculated me and I'm onto their game... and so are you now. ☺
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